“Happiness equals, reality minus expectations”
Everyone is most likely to expect something from someone. William shakespear once said that
And I guess everyone do concede to that. Well, when was the last time you got yourself dying inside because of those expectations? I bet you couldn’t remember it quite well, because of the numerous times it happened.
The question I would like to address here is that, when do we get disappointed? When do we even get heartaches? And the simple answer to that, is when we are most likely to expect. Expectation is the root of all heartaches. And I guess everyone do believe in that.
Now the next question I would like to point out is, when do we not get disappointed? It does not happen all the time, but it does happen specially when you get a little hold of reality. In other words the most likely we are not to expect, then the less likely are we to be disappointed.
How do we not expect? That is the hard thing. We cannot stop ourselves from expecting. We cannot stop ourselves from hurting. That’s just who we are. That’s just how things are supposed to be. But you do however, need to expect more from yourself than from others.
Things don’t always turn out the way you expect it to be, but having the kind of ideology wherein you are to expect more from yourself than people, then I think it’s not that bad at all and it saves you from heartaches. The thing is, when we expect something, most of the time it would always be in the best case scenario. But reality doesn’t work that way. Reality does not always work in the best case scenario. We need to consider the fact that not everything goes the way we wanted it to be. In fact, most of the time it goes, the opposite of how we wanted it to be.
Like when you expected it to be a happy ending, and it ended as a tragic love story or so. Or when you expected your crush to say hello and be nice to you, but he didn’t. Or like when you assumed and expected that a certain guy likes you, but it turns out the other way around. As bitter as it might sound, but that’s just how reality works. Reality at most cases, would always contradict expectations, and vice versa. It would always be, at most cases be Expectations VS Reality.
Now why did I say that expecting more from yourself rather than others, would eventually save you from heartaches? Well not exactly does it “completely” save you from heartaches, but the heartache you are to experience in this state is far more less damaging than the heartache you are to experience if you did not do what I proposed.
Having set expectations from yourself, then you are to achieve these expectations. Whether you got to achieve it or not, either ways this will still lead to self improvement. The only way to happiness is, reality minus expectations. And a way to do that is either you make your expectations real, or never expect at all. The best way to expect is to live up to your expectations. The question is not about what you’re looking forward to the most, but what are you looking forward to the most, from yourself.
As for me, the only thing I’m really looking forward to from myself, is how I can be able to maintain being “me” despite of all the people around me who lost who they really are, because of trying to be someone else they aren’t. I’m looking forward to how I’m going to win against all my doubts and battles. At the end of the day, it’s not about “expectations VS reality” anymore but rather how you make your “expectation” a “reality” So how about you? What are you looking forward to the most?